


love is a four letter word

by Kittywu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anniversaries, Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 16:10:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5672104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittywu/pseuds/Kittywu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Then what’s love to you?” Kuroo started to hum something, and the moment that Tsukishima realised it was ‘what is love’ he gave Kuroo a glare.</p>
<p>“Love is a four letter word that is used to describe some sort of deep connection to someone else.”</p>
<p>“You’re so not romantic, Tsukki.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	love is a four letter word

**Author's Note:**

> So, I managed to get something done for the from one to eleven countdown as well. Lmao. 
> 
> Also, i didn't plan for 8 fucking k, at first my thought was to write some short 2k fluff, then i thought it would be 5k. I seriosuly don't know how that happend. 
> 
> I like to call this "krtsk line sticker adventures" and yes, "stylish cat" is a line sticker set. 
> 
> Title comes from a Jason Mraz album, and the Jason Mraz song referenced in this at some point is [I won't give up](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-4u9W-bns).
> 
> EDIT: NOW WITH [BEAUTIFUL ART](https://http://natsucchi.tumblr.com/post/137019369274/lets-make-it-work-madss-8k-fic-love-is-a) FROM NATSU !!!

Tsukishima Kei was fifteen, he didn’t like loud and childish people, and sometimes he felt like he was the only sane person around.

“Maybe you should act more like a high schooler,” he said, and Tsukishima wasn’t sure if it was meant to be an insult or a compliment. It sure didn’t really feel like a compliment, and the smirk on the face of Nekoma’s captain didn’t actually make it feel more like one.

“I’m not good at that sort of thing,” Tsukishima replied. He would have liked to make a witty remark, but there was something irritating about Kuroo Tetsurou. Maybe it was that smirk that got him so worked up that his best reply was to walk away.

He really wasn’t good at that sort of thing. Not only at being loud and childish. But also at starting conversations. Or keeping conversations going. He could be witty, he could be sharp, but casual friendly small talk wasn’t his strongest suit.

He was used to shrugging it off. He knew that much about himself, knew that there were few people who managed to actually have a conversation with him. And he had kind of come to terms with that.

“Ah, youth,” he heard Kuroo say as he walked away. And Tsukishima thought, really, what was his deal.

\--

He never fully understood what Kuroo had wanted to say, he thought it was strange.

 He kept thinking about it and if he should have said something else maybe.

\--

**Yo, glasses :D Guess who I am.**

The sender was an unknown number and Tsukishima stared at his phone, squinted at the display and rolled his eyes. He put his phone back on his bed and sighed.

He didn’t even have to guess because the message felt like it was sent with a smirk, and even though he couldn’t figure out where Kuroo had gotten his number and more importantly why, he had no doubt that the sender of the message was in Tokyo and the captain of their rival school.

They hadn’t even really talked back at the practice match against Nekoma. Just that short weird conversation that had come into Tsukishima’s mind way more than he would have liked to admit. Nothing extraordinary. So why would he go out of his way and get his phone number somewhere? Why would he bother texting him?

He told himself he would ignore the message, but not even two minutes after the message had arrived, Tsukishima sent a reply.

**You’re Nekoma’s captain. How can I help you?**

He stared at this phone screen and wondered if Kuroo would even text back. Maybe he had just lost a bet or something. Maybe he had made a bet if Tsukishima would reply. He felt stupid for replying, and he felt even more stupid for replying immediately.

**Nothing in particular :3 how are you doing ~**

**Fine, I guess. And you?**

**Ah I’m fine as well :D What are you up to today?**

**I had volleyball practice and now I’m doing homework.**

**Oh you’re the hard-working type I see :3 im on my way home from practice rn.**

**I see.**

The content of Kuroo’s messages and the speed with which he replied told Tsukishima that he was probably texting him out of boredom. But it also felt like Kuroo wanted to have a genuine conversation with him for some reason.

Surprisingly, it didn’t bother Tsukishima.

It was just that he didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t think of anything to keep their conversation going.

\--

For some reason, Kuroo could though, he somehow managed to toss ball after ball to Tsukishima, and even though he could barely receive half of them, it was enough for them to do something that felt like talking.

And whenever Tsukishima failed to toss something back to Kuroo, Kuroo was already prepared to try again.

\--

The question of why Kuroo was even texting him didn’t fade out of his head, it only became smaller and made room for the nagging anxiety in the back of Tsukishima’s head. Sometimes, he wondered if Kuroo would grow tired of texting him some day. If he would grow tired of trying to keep a conversation going that must have felt rather one-sided to him.

Somehow, Tsukishima had grown used to the messages though. They were part of his daily routine, a couple of messages in the mornings, a few in between classes, some before volleyball practice and many in the evenings.

He knew when Kuroo went to bed, he even started to find a pattern in Kuroo’s class schedule.

It was kind of disturbing to Tsukishima, how easily he had adjusted to staying up later because Kuroo was messaging him and how easily he had gotten used to the flood of emojis and stickers that Kuroo was using.

And somehow, even though Tsukishima felt like he was still terrible at that sort of thing, Kuroo didn’t stop messaging him. It didn’t feel like Kuroo was getting annoyed by him.

Tsukishima wouldn’t go as far as to say that he was glad about that, but then again, it was exactly what he felt.

He was glad.

\--

He was glad about every message and glad about every stupid sticker that Kuroo sent him.

It made him feel like he was able to make friends besides Yamaguchi. It made him feel less lonely.

\--

**I’m so tired D: D:**

**Maybe you shouldn’t stay up all night texting people then.**

**But Tsukki D:**

**Kuroo Tetsurou sent a sticker.**

**What was that.**

**A sticker xD**

**But what is that thing.**

**Stylish cat! ^w^ Do you like it :3**

**No.**

**Why are you always so mean :(**

**Kuroo Tetsurou sent a sticker.**

**Stop.**

**Kuroo Tetsurou sent a sticker.**

**I will block you.**

**Tsukki :(**

**Kuroo Tetsurou sent a sticker.**

**Will you maybe block with me?? ;)**

**Will that make you stop sending me those gross things?**

**Maybe :3**

**Kuroo Tetsurou sent a sticker.**

\--

It was as if all of that had been planned, as if Kuroo had known something that Tsukishima hadn’t.

 A day later Takeda told them about the away games with the Fukurodani group.

Tsukishima felt as if that whole conversation had been part of some devious plan, and he wondered if he was that easy to predict.

\--

“Does your promise still stand, glasses?” Kuroo put an arm around his shoulder, casually, like someone would do with an old friend.

“What promise?” Tsukishima tried to pretend that he didn’t remember what Kuroo was talking about and that he didn’t like how Kuroo’s arm felt on his shoulder.

He wasn’t sure if he was successful.

“The blocking,” he said and winked.

That wink looked so absurd, so stupid, so cliché, that Tsukishima couldn’t help but laugh. It made Kuroo laugh as well, and his laugh made Tsukishima laugh even more.

After all their messages, Tsukishima wasn’t sure what he had expected. Maybe at the beginning, he would have expected some cool laugh, the laugh of someone confident and handsome. But all their conversations had shown him that Kuroo was a dork, someone who sent him pictures of cats with bowties and questionable stickers, someone who had sent him the link to the video of a weird and disturbingly catchy Russian song at one in the morning.

So he didn’t expect the laugh of someone confident and handsome, but he also didn’t expect a laugh that sounded like a dying horse.

\--

The sound of Kuroo’s laugh was stuck in his head longer than the stupid Russian song.

\--

He saw Kuroo sitting in the hallway around one am, sitting on the ground and leaning against the wall. His hands on his knees and his face turned towards the ceiling, earphones plugged into the phone on the ground and eyes closed.

Tsukishima sat down next to him, partially because he thought Kuroo looked lonely and partially because he felt a bit lonely himself.

“Oh, hi, Tsukki,” he said and stretched his arms.

“Why are you still up?”

“Can’t sleep. You?”

He thought about telling Kuroo that he just got up to go to the toilet, but he felt like that would have robbed them of some sort of connection.

“Me neither. Kageyama snores,” he told him and the latter part wasn’t even a lie.

Kuroo smiled at him in response and nodded understandingly. He didn’t say much, he just handed him one of his earphones.

He listened to Kuroo’s music without a word. It was mostly rock, he recognised a couple of songs and tried to remember those where Kuroo gently tapped the rhythm on his knee.

“It’s not the stuff you usually listen to with your fancy headphones, right?” Kuroo asked after a while.

“I could get used to that though.”

Kuroo nodded silently again, he smiled at him. They continued to listen to Kuroo’s music. This time, Kuroo let his head rest on Tsukishima’s shoulder.

\--

When Tsukishima went to sleep that night, he went to bed with a smile on his face.

\--

“Are you going to sleep already?” Kuroo asked him while he put away a mop and Tsukishima was walking towards the door of the gym.

“I guess so,” he said and stopped. “Why are you asking?”

Kuroo turned away, the only thing that Tsukishima could see was how he scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t know, I’m not actually tired yet. And tonight is the last night of the training camp.”

The tired part was probably a blatant lie, because after a full day of practice and the general feeling of not having slept enough that came from sleeping in a room with an entire team, there was no way Kuroo wasn’t tired. Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at that but decided not to say anything.

“What did you have in mind?” he asked instead.

“Nothing in particular, just hanging out for a bit.”

And so they did. They just sat down in front of the gym, talking about everything and nothing on the stone ground. It felt a lot colder at night than it felt when it was warmed up by the sun.

Tsukishima sat right next to Kuroo, their shoulder’s touching. Occasionally, he rubbed his hands over his legs, the cold gave him goose bumps.

“Are you cold?”

“Not really,” he said.

He was scared that Kuroo would decide that they had hung out enough if he noticed that Tsukishima was freezing. But Kuroo simply took off his jacket and put it over Tsukishima’s shoulders.

“Better?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

And he rubbed the back of his neck again, turned his face into the other direction. “No big deal,” he mumbled.

Tsukishima didn’t know what to reply, he had a lot of things in his head. They reached from ‘the jacket smells like you’ to ‘I kind of want to take your hand’. But he didn’t want to say half of them and he couldn’t say the other half, so he didn’t say anything. He waited for Kuroo to say something because he always did when Tsukishima didn’t know what to say.

Kuroo didn’t say anything. They just kept sitting next to each other, shoulders touching, knees touching, Tsukishima with Kuroo’s jacket over his own. Faces averted from each other. Minutes passed and neither of them said anything.

Slowly, Tsukishima’s face started to heat up. He began to realise that with every second, the usual confidence that enveloped Kuroo melted away and that he was simply embarrassed and awkward.

Maybe the moment that he had been afraid of all the time had finally come, where Kuroo had enough of him, where he was tired of keeping the conversation going and trying to get through to him.

Maybe Kuroo just didn’t know how to leave.

“You don’t have to hang out with me if you don’t want to, there is probably a lot of people here who are cooler than me. And nicer. Or funnier.” Tsukishima gulped. “Seriously, I wouldn’t be mad if you would prefer to spend the last evening of this training camp with someone else.”

“What are you even talking about?” Kuroo said. He had turned his face back at Tsukishima, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Just that I don’t really know why you make such an effort to talk to me. You somehow got yourself my number, you try to keep our text conversations going even though I suck at it. And even here you keep asking me to practice with you, or to sit with you at lunch. And now we’re here and it is getting kind of awkward and I just don’t really understand why you’re making such an effort to – “

He never got to finish his sentence. Before he could say another word, Kuroo had already pressed his lips against Tsukishima’s.

\--

Tsukishima was about to take his bag to the bus when a hand grabbed his wrist.

“You’ll be leaving soon,” Kuroo said.

And when he turned around to look at his face, his expression looked genuinely disappointed, maybe sad.

“Yes,” he said and bit his lip. He tried not let his own emotions show, his own disappointment, his own sadness. He thought about the fact that he would miss being around Kuroo. And he wondered if Kuroo would miss him too.

Kuroo buried his face in Tsukishima’s neck, he slung his arms around his waist and pressed him close. What he said, muffled by the collar of Tsukishima’s black Karasuno jacket, sounded incredibly close to “I will miss you”.

Tsukishima wondered if Kuroo would kiss him again. He didn’t expect anything, the chance that someone would walk into them was high and they were still in public.

But he wanted him to, he hoped that Kuroo would kiss him again, he hoped that their kiss had not been a once only thing, and he wanted to feel Kuroo’s lips on his again.

“I will text you once I get home,” he said. He wasn’t brave enough to kiss Kuroo himself.

Kuroo ruffled through his hair. “You better do.”

All that Tsukishima could think of was the feeling on Kuroo’s hand on his head, the gentle smile that he had on his face. He didn’t even notice Kuroo kissing him until their lips had already met again.

A brief, soft kiss, just Kuroo’s lips brushing over his. Sparks throughout Tsukishima’s body. Butterflies. His head in the clouds. He wasn’t even sure when he had started to like Kuroo that much.

“See you soon,” Kuroo said and hugged him once again.

\--

**Do you have time to talk tonight :3**

**Probably. I don’t have too much homework.**

**Nice!! *w***

**Kuroo Tetsurou sent a sticker.**

**Why do you have Hello Kitty stickers.**

**D: do you have a problem with hello kitty o.o**

**You’re 17 years old and the captain of a volleyball team. Don’t you think you’re too old for Hello Kitty stickers?**

**No!! >.>**

**Kuroo Tetsurou sent a sticker.**

**You’re childish.**

**Apologise to kitty! >.< **

**Kuroo Tetsurou sent a sticker.**

**No.**

**Kuroo Tetsurou sent a sticker.**

**I need to go to practise now.**

**Are you mad at me now :((((**

**Tsukki :((((**

**Kuroo Tetsurou sent a sticker.**

**But we’re still skyping tonight right? :’(**

**Yes.**

\--

Tsukishima didn’t understand what was going on with him, he didn’t understand at what point he had stopped to think of Kuroo as irritating or weird. At what point he had started to consider Kuroo a friend. And at what point he had developed a crush on Kuroo Tetsurou.

Tsukishima didn’t want to let himself believe that his feelings were reciprocated. Even though that there were a lot of hints for that (Kuroo kissing him twice, mostly), it didn’t make sense to him and he had trouble believing in things that didn’t make sense.

So he tried not to think of it as best as he could. And that was not much.

\--

It was already three in the morning, Tsukishima had school the day after and he still had Kuroo on his skype.

Kuroo’s face on Tsukishima’s laptop was buried in his pillow, his hair even messier than usual. “Tsukki, do you believe in love?”

“What kind of question is that?” he said and pushed his glasses up.

“You come off as someone who doesn’t” Kuroo said. And then he laughed softly. He was generally speaking very quietly, and without headphones, Tsukishima probably wouldn’t have understood him at all. It made Kuroo’s voice sound a bit raspy, but the mix of raspy, drowsy and three am cheerful could have gotten Tsukishima drunk.

“I don’t know.” He turned onto his back and put his laptop onto his belly.

“Then what’s love to you?” Kuroo started to hum something, and the moment that Tsukishima realised it was ‘what is love’ he gave Kuroo a glare.

“Love is a four letter word that is used to describe some sort of deep connection to someone else.”

“You’re so not romantic, Tsukki.”

“I was kidding.”

“I know.” Kuroo shifted as well, he placed the laptop in front of him and turned onto his belly. “So. Real answer now.”

“Why do you even want to know?”

Kuroo sighed and ran his hand through the mess of black hair. “Because it’s three am and I’m thinking about weird things. Also because I may be in love with you.”

Tsukishima froze. At first he just had to process what Kuroo had said. And then he needed time to think of how to respond.

They had never actually talked about the terms of their relationship after they had kissed. They had never even spared as much as a word about that or the whole chapter of feelings. To Tsukishima, it had been like a sign to get his hopes back on the ground, to get back to reality.

If it had been anything serious, Kuroo would have brought it up afterwards and he hadn’t. If Kuroo would have felt anything special for Tsukishima, he would have said something after the training camp, but he hadn’t. So the kiss couldn’t have been a big deal, Tsukishima couldn’t have been a big deal for Kuroo. As far as Tsukishima’s train of thought went, there was not much to be done but to get to terms with the painful truth.

And after nearly two months, he still hadn’t managed to do that, but he had also stopped to expect anything.

“Excuse me?” he said. The moment the words had left his mouth he regretted them again, they sounded too harsh and disapproving.

In the time that it had taken Tsukishima to respond, Kuroo had turned red up to his ears. He took a deep breath and bit his lip. “I said that I think that I’m in love with you.”

“You’re in love with me?” He didn’t know how the words actually left his mouth, his mouth was dry and the words were bricks in his throat.

“Maybe. I don’t know. I’ve never been in love with anyone before.”

“I think,” Tsukishima started. If the words before had been bricks, those felt like boulders. “I think I’m in love with you too.”

\--

It really shouldn’t have been that hard, it felt like someone lifted a block of his chest after he had said it.

There was a weight less on his chest after he had told himself and Kuroo that he was in love with him.

\--

**Soon <3 <3 <3**

**Kuroo <3 sent a sticker. **

**I think we agreed that you wouldn’t use those stickers again.**

**:( :( :(**

**But yes, see you soon.**

**You don’t sound enthusiastic enough, Tsukki >.<**

**See you soon!!!!!!!!!!**

**Better?**

**Much better :***

**Kuroo <3 sent a sticker. **

**Why do I even like you.**

\--

Tsukishima paced back and forth at the station. He had thought a lot about what would happen when he and Kuroo would see each other again. He had come up with countless scenarios while he had rubbed the knuckle of his thumb. He had stared at the ceiling at night and wondered how it would be to be with Kuroo in person.

But then Kuroo had asked if Tsukki wanted him to visit and then they had started to make plans for Kuroo to come to Miyagi and then Kuroo had texted him that he had bought train tickets.

Now the day of his visit had come and he didn’t feel prepared.

The late night confession had become some sort of silent agreement, just another thing they knew about each other. Tsukishima was sure that Kuroo didn’t even spend half as much time with thinking about that fact as he did.

 He thought about it a lot, every day in fact. But another two months had passed and they never talked about it. Kuroo had started to send him more hearts in their messages.

\--

Tsukishima hadn’t expected the broad smile on Kuroo’s face when he got off the train, so much wider and brighter than the smile that spread across Kuroo’s face when they were skyping and his face appeared on Kuroo’s screen.

The hug, the kiss, his palm in Kuroo’s – he couldn’t tell how much he was smiling. He couldn’t say a lot of things, his head was too high in the clouds.

\--

“Your mother is really nice. And she was so friendly! But seriously, what did you tell her about me? She was way too excited when she saw me.”

Kuroo let himself fall onto the bed next to Tsukishima, he poked his side and Tsukishima first let out a soft, high pitched shriek and then he gave Kuroo a death glare.

“So you’re ticklish?” Kuroo asked with raised eyebrows and a smirk. His hands were already dangerously close to Tsukishima’s sides again.

“Don’t you dare. I’ll kick you out.” He tried to look serious, he tried to look angry, but the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth probably gave him away.

Kuroo just pressed a kiss onto Tsukishima’s cheek in response.

“I didn’t say that much about you actually. I think she’s just very excited because you’re the second friend that I’ve ever had over.”

“Oho, is that so. Then I will have to make an extra good impression.”

“You should have done something about your bedhead before getting here, then.”

Tsukishima pinched Kuroo’s nose and he started to feel slightly childish, at least more childish than he liked to act. But that was just how it was, he liked the way that Kuroo teased him and he liked to tease him back.

Talking to Kuroo face to face, feeling his warm hand on his own, seeing that smirk in its natural habitat, it wasn’t good for his heart. It was in a permanent state of racing, and sometimes, when Kuroo kissed him, it felt like it was even skipping a beat or two.

He had expected Kuroo to reply with another remark, another teasing comment, but he simply moved closer to Tsukishima, put his arms around his waist and let his forehead rest against Tsukishima’s.

Kuroo had dark thick lashes that framed his amber eyes.

“I nearly forgot how cute you are up close,” he said.

Tsukishima’s heart skipped another beat. Kuroo’s lips were dry, at first they just brushed over Tsukishima’s, once, twice, but then Tsukishima gulped and parted his lips. His hands moved into Kuroo’s hair, it felt surprisingly soft and Kuroo’s skin and mouth felt surprisingly hot.

His blood was rushing into his face, into his cheeks, his ears and his neck, maybe because of the feeling of Kuroo’s tongue in his mouth, maybe because of what Kuroo had said before he kissed him.

“Love is a four letter word that is used to describe some sort of deep connection to someone else,” Kuroo said as he looked into Tsukishima’s eyes. His expression turned into a smile, a soft and warm smile, a smile that was completely different from his default smirk. A smile that was maybe exclusively for Tsukishima.

Tsukishima bit his lip, he wanted to say something, wanted to ask something that had been like a new boulder on his chest ever since that one skype call late at night.

“I love you,” Kuroo said and kissed him again.

“I love you too,” Tsukishima said without even thinking. He didn’t have to think about it anyways, it was way too obvious for that.

“Do you think there is a chance we can make this work?”

“Make what work?”

“You and me. Us. Because of the distance and stuff.”

He stared at Kuroo, at his lashes and his amber eyes, at his smile and his gentle expression. Usually he would have started to play with his hands in a situation like that, a situation where he didn’t know what to say and where he didn’t feel in control. But his hands felt too good as they were, resting on Kuroo’s neck.

“I don’t know,” he said. It wasn’t even the distance that made him say it.

“I hope we can. It would be nice if we could,” Kuroo said and kissed Tsukishima’s nose.

“It would,” Tsukishima said and slowly, the tension that had built itself up inside of him started to melt away again.

“I love you.”

It melted away into a smile. “I love you.”

“Let’s make it work, Tsukki.”

Kuroo had some sort of gift, an odd and charming gift that made it easy for Tsukishima to forget about his own insecurities and worries for a moment. Perhaps it was because Kuroo felt so confident, perhaps because he was so optimistic and sincere that he didn’t feel like doubting that they could make it work in that moment.

“Let’s make it work.”

Those words seemed to be like an invitation for Kuroo, like he had been waiting for them. He pulled Tsukishima in closer than he already was, as close as possible. So close that there wasn’t even space for a breath of air in between them. He leaned in to kiss him again, his hands exploring Tsukishima’s sides.

“Do you want to share my bed with me tonight?”

There was a laugh and a soft kiss onto Tsukishima’s lips. “Only if it’s ok for you.”

“Isn’t that what couples do?” Maybe he was too fast with using the word ‘couple’ to describe them, he felt a rush of anxiety in his veins after he had said it. But all it took was Kuroo’s smile to widen even more to make that anxiety fade away again.

“I like the ring of that. ‘Couple’. But as I said, only if it’s ok for you.” He pressed another kiss onto Tsukishima’s lips.

“Then please sleep in my bed tonight.” This time it was Tsukishima who kissed Kuroo.

“Hey, Tsukki?”

“Yes?”

“For someone who calls me childish, you definitely have way too many dinosaur figures in your room.”

\--

It was somehow weird to know that they were a couple now. Not weird per se but weird because it didn’t change a thing between them.

\--

When he came home from volleyball practice, his mother told Tsukishima that there had been something in the mail for him, and through the way she had said it he knew that whatever had been in the mail must have come from Kuroo.

He wasn’t sure if he had ever explicitly told his mother that he and Kuroo were dating, but it also never felt necessary. After his first visit, she kept referring to him as his ‘handsome Tokyo boyfriend’ and whenever she knocked on his door when he and Kuroo were talking, she gave him a knowing smile. Honestly, he didn’t know how she had found out. But it also didn’t bother him, it had spared him an awkward talk.

And indeed, there was a parcel on the kitchen table addressed to Tsukishima Kei, the sender was from Tokyo and indeed no one else but Kuroo Tetsurou.

Then again, Tsukishima sometimes questioned why he even wondered how his mother had found out about them. Kuroo had drawn a heart next to Tsukishima’s name.

He took the box to his room and texted Kuroo. Not even a minute later, Kuroo had called him.

“Open it,” Kuroo’s voice said through the speakers of his cellphone.

“What did you even send me? And why?” Tsukishima tried to tuck his phone between his cheek and his shoulder to have both hands for opening the box. Carefully, he cut open the tape.

“No particular reason. Just wanted to spoil you. Also I haven’t seen you in way too long.”

“In a month.”

“As I said, way too long.” Tsukishima could practically hear the smile on his face.

He sat down and opened the box. Its contents were wrapped into bubble wrap, and when he had gotten rid of it, he held three separately wrapped things in his hands. Three packages, carefully wrapped into a gift wrapper covered in red roses.

“Kuroo,” he simply said and Kuroo laughed in response.

“I love you, Tsukki.”

The first one was something sweet, strawberry flavoured candy. He rolled his eyes at the innocent face of Hello Kitty on the plastic box.

“Are you serious?”

“Which one did you open?”

“The Hello Kitty candy.”

“It’s strawberry and cream flavour. I hope you’ll like them.”

Tsukishima sighed. “Where did you even find them?”

“Supermarket. And whenever you will eat one they will make you think of me. Open the next one.”

He knew there was no point in arguing about whether or not having a soft spot for hello kitty was appropriate for someone who was about to graduate from high school. They had talked about that countless times, just like about Kuroo’s choice of stickers and Kuroo’s tendency to be an overly cheesy and hopeless romantic.

When he unwrapped the next one, he found a framed selfie of them. He would have expected a frame covered in hearts or something like that, but it was a simple black frame with a picture that Kuroo had insisted on taking during Tsukishima’s last visit in Tokyo.

It was a picture of Kuroo kissing Tsukishima’s cheek. Kuroo looked just as grossly in love as he always did and Tsukishima looked like he tried not to smile.

“It’s the picture now,” he said.

“I wrote something on the back of the photo by the way.”

It was hard to understand the wave of affection that Kuroo offered, sometimes it was even hard to accept it because Tsukishima didn’t feel like they were having an equivalent exchange. But it made his heart melt and his face heat up, it made him feel happy and good.

It made him feel something he couldn’t express with words.

The message on the back of the photo said “I love you to the moon and back. Millions of kisses, Kuroo.”

“Millions of kisses back to you,” he said or mumbled. He couldn’t say things like that as easily.

“Now open the third one.”

“I hope you didn’t send me flowers or something,” he said and started to unwrap the third package. It was way too small and too compact to contain anything that came close to flowers, but he felt the need to say it. For future reference.

“Do you like it?” Kuroo asked after a while.

Tsukishima was looking at the dinosaur keychain in his hand. “I do. Thank you. You really didn’t have to send me anything though, Kuroo.”

“It made you happy, so it was worth it.”

“Did I tell you that I love you?”

“I don’t know, tell me again in case you didn’t.”

Tsukishima took his phone into his hand again, with the other he held the picture that Kuroo had sent him. “I love you.”

\--

He was happy, he was so happy and he didn’t know how he deserved to be so happy. And Kuroo tried to help him learn not to care for that how.

\--

**Tsukki ???? o.0**

**Yes?**

**DID YOU SEND ME FLOWERS???**

**Kuroo <3 sent a sticker. ** 

**Possibly.**

**TSUKKI <3 <3 <3 **

**What?**

**I love you so much <3 *3***

**I love you too.**

\--

“So, Tsukki, are you ready for a tour through my new place?” Kuroo looked bashful, the background was unfamiliar. He knew that Kuroo had moved into his own apartment for college, and that was also why they hadn’t had the time to skype during the past weeks. There had still been too many boxes to unpack and too many troubles with Kuroo’s internet connection. He had offered to help with the move, but Kuroo had told him that he would be fine.

That also meant that he had never seen Kuroo’s new apartment before though. The wall behind him was white, there was a movie poster for some action flick. He recognised the red beanbag that Kuroo was sitting on as the same one from Kuroo’s old room.

“Show me around,” he said and he saw Kuroo grinning in response. There was a rustling sound as Kuroo moved his laptop and then he saw Kuroo’s hoodie and then the full wall that was behind him.

“The place is not that big so it will only be a small tour. But this is my ‘living room’.” He gestured at the red beanbag and a grey couch, a small wooden table and the same TV that had already been in Kuroo’s old room. It still looked a bit messy, with a couple of piles of books on the ground and some picture frames next to the TV. On the table, there was a used plate and a mug.

“And this here, is the infamous ‘bedroom’ where the magic happens. Or not. Because you’re not here.” Kuroo laughed as he turned around slightly to show him the bed at the other side of the room. Tsukishima laughed at Kuroo’s suggestive eyebrow wiggles and his stupid remark.

He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but whenever he had thought about Kuroo’s new place, he had imagined it to be bigger. In retrospect he didn’t know why, because it was a city apartment and the city apartment of a college student.

“And this here is my ‘kitchen’ and here is the ‘dining room’,” he continued.

“You don’t have to make those quotation marks all the time, Kuroo. I barely see them anyways and I get the deal. It’s all one room.”

“Oh you are mistaking, Tsukki. There is also a bathroom. And that one is actually a separate room!”

“Thank goodness.”

“But I think that’s about it of my tour through Kuroo Tetsurou’s fabulous new apartment,” he said and sat down in the beanbag again. He yawned and stretched his arms over his head. “Man, college is intense.”

Tsukishima gulped. There had been a thing that had bothered him lately. A thought, a new insecurity that inflated and spread, that gained in gravity and size until it became another rock that dragged him down.

Now that Kuroo was in college, it would probably be like people always said. Kuroo would meet new people, cooler people. And there would be no room left for Tsukishima, a lame high schooler from a small town.

“What’s on your mind, moonshine?”

Sometimes Tsukishima hated it that Kuroo read him like an open book.

“You’re in college now,” he started.

“And?”

“Why would a college student want to be still dating a stupid high schooler?” The words slung themselves around Tsukishima’s throat and it became hard to breathe.

“Well, I don’t know, maybe because this college student is incredibly in love with this ‘stupid’ high schooler? And maybe because said college student is just as stupid as said high schooler?”

Silence. The invisible sling was still tight around Tsukishima’s throat.

“Seriously, Tsukki. Just because I’m in college my feelings for you won’t change. This thing, our thing, it won’t change.”

“I love you,” Tsukishima said because he couldn’t think of anything better to say.

“I love you too. And I promise you that won’t change, ok?”

“I don’t deserve you,” he said. He looked at the frame of his laptop, at the movie poster behind Kuroo. Anything but Kuroo’s gaze was fine. He was too scared that the day would come where Kuroo would agree with him.

“You do. Do you want to know why?”

Tsukishima still couldn’t bring himself to look at Kuroo, he could do nothing but hold his breath and wait for Kuroo to continue.

And when Kuroo continued, he started to sing. “When I look into your eyes, it’s like watching the night sky or a beautiful sunrise – there’s so much they hold.”

Out of all things Kuroo Tetsurou was, childish, loud, a hopeless romantic, being a good singer wasn’t one of his qualities. But his terrible singing paired with the lyrics of a cheesy Jason Mraz song and his smile was enough to loosen the knot around Tsukishima’s throat, to lift up all the boulders on his chest. He didn’t even realise when the first tears started to roll down his cheek.

\--

“ _I won’t give up on us, even if the skies get rough. I’m giving you all my love, I’m still looking up._ ”

Tsukishima couldn’t stop listening to the song for weeks. And he would have listened to Kuroo singing it for him every night.

\--

**I’m at the station already <3 <3 **

**You’re too early, my train doesn’t arrive for another 20 minutes.**

**I just couldn’t wait to see you <3 u3u **

**I missed you.**

**Aww I missed you too :(**

**19 minutes *w***

**You’re stupid.**

**I love you <3**

**I love you too.  See you later.**

\--

Kuroo’s apartment felt a little bit bigger than it had looked through skype.

“I shall cook for you today, my beloved Tsukishima,” Kuroo said as soon as he closed the door.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing, I’m just very happy to see you again and I want to spoil you.”

“It’s just… I remember the last time you cooked. And that’s something I don’t want to happen again.”

Kuroo looked at Tsukishima, pouting, and put his jacket onto one of the two chairs. “Are you insulting my cooking abilities?”

He laughed, stepped towards Kuroo and kissed him. “If you’re asking me like that: yes. Yes, I am.”

Theatrically, Kuroo held his heart and acted as if he was deeply insulted. “How could you!”

Tsukishima put his jacket onto the other chair. He looked around, trying to take in more of the room. Since the room tour that Kuroo had given him, he had put the books from the ground into a small shelf, he had added pictures in frames of his family, of the Nekoma volleyball team and of him and Tsukishima. The same picture of him kissing Tsukishima’s cheek in the same black frame that stood in Miyagi. A picture that included him sleeping that he had never seen before.

He pointed at it with a raised eyebrow.

“Took that one last time when I was visiting you,” he said with a smirk.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“I love you too,” he said. And then, after a short pause: “Now, what do you want for lunch?”

He still wasn’t too fond of the idea that Kuroo would cook, but he didn’t say another thing, he just hugged him from behind, his arms slung around him and his face buried in Kuroo’s hair.

\--

It felt like the year flew by, it didn’t feel like a whole year at all. And Kuroo had been right. Their thing, their relationship didn’t change. The only thing that changed was that now, he went more to Tokyo than Kuroo to Miyagi, and sometimes, when he woke up from the sunlight shining through the blinds of Kuroo’s apartment, he played with the thought how it would be like to wake up like that every morning.

\--

“You’re going to be captain next year? That’s amazing, Tsukki!”

He was cheerful, his eyes were bright and his smile brighter. He was definitely more cheerful than Tsukishima himself.

“I still don’t really understand why they want me to be captain out of all people.”

“Are you kidding me? First of all, you’re an amazing player. You’re calm and collected, you’re hardworking and you’re good at strategizing.”

He looked at Kuroo on his display, his awful bedhead, his Cheshire grin. He looked for reassurance in Kuroo’s gaze and what he found was warmth and comfort.

“You’re so much more than you think. And if someone should be captain of Karasuno, then it’s you. Trust me. And that’s not even your boyfriend speaking right now, this is Nekoma’s former captain speaking. Your boyfriend agrees though.”

He wanted Kuroo to be there, he missed him. He wanted to lay on his chest, press his face into the crook of Kuroo’s neck. To listen to his heartbeat telling him that he would do well and that he would make a good captain. He wanted Kuroo to kiss his forehead and he wanted to take Kuroo’s hand.

He missed the patterns that Kuroo drew on the skin of his back with his index finger.

“Thank you,” he said.

“That’s what I’m here for,” and Kuroo blew him a kiss.

“For everything I mean. Also for the things you did for me back then, at the training camp, I mean.” It came out of nowhere, maybe from sentimentality and longing. Maybe because Kuroo’s absence started to feel unbearable.

“Well, someone had to wake up sleeping beauty from his beauty sleep, moonshine. And I’m glad I did.”

“Cheesy.”

“Cheesy is my middle name.” There was his grin again and Kuroo was looking terribly content with himself.

“Kuroo Cheesy Tetsurou? Wow, I think that’s a new low.”

“You have no sense of humour.”

When they had first met, Tsukishima had sometimes not been sure if Kuroo meant some things he said as a compliment or an insult, no matter how good he was at analysing people. It was something specific to Kuroo, just like how his smile probably had magical healing qualities for him. Now he knew that things like that were just another way of Kuroo Tetsurou saying “I love you”.

He was glad that Kuroo knew that whenever he said ‘you’re stupid’, ‘you’re unbelievable’ or ‘why do I even date you’, it was just another way of him saying ‘I love you’. Love was a four letter word that was used to describe some sort of deep connection to someone, and they had more ways than one to express their connection.

“I love you too,” he said with a smile on his face.

\--

The doorbell rang at eight in the morning on a Saturday, and Tsukishima told his mother that he would go to see who was there. He expected the mailman or a neighbour, and when he opened the door and he was greeted by a large bouquet of roses, he rolled his eyes.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Surprise visit!” Kuroo said and lowered the bouquet, revealing his face.

Tsukishima tried his best not to damage the flowers when he kissed Kuroo, when he cupped Kuroo’s face with his hands and when he waited for Kuroo’s hands to settle on his waist.

He hadn’t showered yet, and he was still in his pyjamas, Kuroo looked like he hadn’t slept more than two hours and his shirt was crumpled from the trip. But Tsukishima couldn’t care less.

“Are you wearing my shirt?” was the first thing Kuroo asked him after the broke apart.

“Maybe,” he said and kissed the tip of Kuroo’s nose.

“Suits you,” Kuroo said, his hand moving to Tsukishima’s cheek. “But then again, you look incredible no matter what you wear.”

\--

It took him nearly two years to be able to handle the compliments that Kuroo liked to shower him with, but now, after all the time that they had known each other and all the time they had been together, Tsukishima could look back at the journey he had made with a smile and say that he made it up all this way.

\--

“We will never get up and out of this beanbag again,” Kuroo said. He groaned and rubbed his nose against the skin of Tsukishima’s cheek.

“You’re an old man,” Tsukishima replied, his hand trailing the line of Kuroo’s collarbone.

“I thought I was childish?”

“You’re both. A child and a lame old man trapped in the body of a 19 year old.”

“Then you are a stick and an ice block trapped in the body of a 17 year old.”

Slowly, Kuroo drew patterns on Tsukishima’s back, he whispered kisses onto Tsukishima’s lips like they were a secret, a precious secret between the two of them.

“You’re right, we’ll never get up out of this beanbag again. But simply because I’m comfortable in here and have no intention of getting up any time soon.”

“I feel that,” Kuroo hummed. “But at some point we will have to get up or you will miss your train back to Miyagi.”

He always tried not to think of the fact that whenever they were spending time together, their time was limited to a couple of days, a week maybe during the holidays. Tsukishima didn’t like thinking of that, he hated to think of leaving, and he hated the time in between their visits. The longing, the loneliness.

“I don’t want to go,” he said with a sigh.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Kuroo bit his lip and sighed as well. “But you won’t leave for that long this time.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

And then he smiled, put his hand on Tsukishima’s cheek and closed the distance between their lips. “Also, we won’t have to worry about that sort of thing anymore soon.”

“But not soon enough.”

\--

Kuroo had been talking about college, about the future, and honestly it scared Tsukishima. It meant so many uncertainties, so many things changing.

But it would also mean being closer to Kuroo, waking up next to him every morning.

\--

Late at night, Tsukishima had to put his headphones into his laptop again to talk to Kuroo.

They had thought they could manage just a short call, after all they would be seeing each other again a couple of days later, but that short call turned into hours, the sun had set eventually, Tsukishima’s parents had gone to sleep and the two of them were still talking, even though both of them were practically yawning all the time and both of them started to struggle with keeping their eyes open.

“Don’t you have school tomorrow?” Kuroo asked as he saw Tsukishima yawn once again.

“Don’t you have classes tomorrow too?” Tsukishima asked back.

“Theoretically.”

“Don’t you dare skip even a single class.”

“Yes, mum. Don’t worry, I didn’t plan on skipping class. Are you ok with me sleeping in class though?”

He rolled his eyes. “No. Of course not. Go to sleep, idiot.”

“I love you too.”

“Seriously, go to sleep.”

Kuroo yawned. Tsukishima looked at the clock on his laptop screen, it said it was half past two.

“If we let the call run and go to sleep, would it feel like sleeping next to each other?”

He buried his face in his pillow, and thought about it. In his head, he counted the days until he could actually sleep next to Kuroo again.

“Goodnight,” Kuroo said and turned onto his stomach. He looked for another pillow, covered himself with his blanket and sandwiched his head in between the two pillows. His sleeping position never failed to amuse Tsukishima.

He was just staring at Kuroo, he knew that Kuroo wasn’t even actually trying to sleep. He watched him “sleep” nonetheless. His head propped on his elbow, he stared at the back on his screen rising and falling with every breath.

“Hey, Kei?”

It made him feel warm and fuzzy whenever Kuroo used his first name. The sound of Kuroo’s voice saying his name, the way he pronounced it. The intimacy it had. The smile that found its way onto his lips whenever he said ‘Tetsurou’.

“Do you know what I just remembered?” Kuroo had turned onto his side again, his face half buried in one of his pillows. He looked smug and that shimmer in his eyes usually didn’t mean anything good.

“What?” he asked carefully.

“Love is a four letter word that is used to describe some sort of deep connection to someone else.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup.”

“You’re terrible. I said that two years ago. Let it rest.”

“Never.”

He could hear Kuroo laugh into his pillow, his terrible horse laugh, and muffled by the pillow and altered by the connection of their video call, it sounded even more like a dying horse.

“You’re seriously, seriously terrible.”

“I love you, Kei.”

“I love you too, Tetsurou.”

“I mean, that sentence was so unromantic. You could have said practically anything and that’s what you came up with.”

“Well, you overwhelmed me.”

“Aw, my poor moonshine.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. How could Kuroo make everything sound incredibly love-struck and cheesy, even when he was teasing him? Especially when he was teasing him.

“I love you, Tetsurou,” he said, the warmth and comfort of their intimacy spreading in his chest. It was illuminating him from the inside, a light in what sometimes felt like darkness. He couldn’t wait for the weekend, he couldn’t wait to be with him again.

“I love you too, Kei. But seriously, let’s go to sleep.”

“Yeah, probably. Then, talk to you tomorrow?”

“Sleep well, moonshine. I love you.”

“I love you too. Sleep well.”

\--

**Happy two year anniversary, moonshine <3 **

**Tetsurou <3 sent a sticker. **

**Hello Kitty stickers again?**

**And yes, happy two year anniversary.**

**I’ll treat you for dinner when you’re here tomorrow ~**

**So you won’t cook? Good.**

**You’re mean :(**

**Tetsurou <3 sent a sticker. **

**Not those things again.**

**How did I even manage to date you for two years?**

**Because you love me? <3 <3 <3 **

**Apparently.**

**I love you, Tetsurou <3 **

**DID YOU JUST SEND ME A HEART?????? *3* <3 <3 **

\--

Two years, it was seriously nearly weird to Tsukishima. They had been dating for two years. He had been so scared that Kuroo would grow tired of him eventually, that Kuroo would find someone better. But now, if he was certain of something, he was certain of his hand in Kuroo’s.

Not only for that particular moment, but for countless moments more.

He was certain of him and Kuroo in Kuroo’s “living room”, of them celebrating their two year anniversary, of Kuroo’s shirt on his own body. The warmth that came from standing close to Kuroo, from feeling Kuroo’s chest against his, from Kuroo’s hands on his lower back and Tsukishima’s arms around his neck.

Kuroo hummed along to the music as they danced through the living room.

“Happy anniversary, Kei,” he whispered into his ear. “Two years and I still love you like when we started to date.” He pressed a kiss next to Tsukishima’s ear.

“Actually, I love you even more. If that’s even possible, that is.”

“You’re still as cheesy as ever. I love you too, Tetsurou.”

And with that, Tsukishima leaned forward, leaned towards him and pressed a kiss onto Kuroo’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to say that I've been struggling with some sort of terrible writers block lately and the last two things i wrote were more a product of deadlines than a product of anything else. But I kinda feel like it got better with this thing.  
> And that's why I'd like to thank Van, Cindy and Atan who really helped me get over my writers block, even though they are probably not aware that they did.  
> Also, I'd like to thank everyone who reads my stuff, leaves kudos, comments or kind tags on tumblr. You all mean a lot to me.


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